Santa Banta Jokes‏

Titanic was sinking. 
An Englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"? Santa: 2 KMs. 
Englishman jumped into sea. Englishman: Now, which direction? 
Santa: Downwards ! 
 
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Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators. 
 
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How did Santa tried to kill a bird?? 
He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die. 
 
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Santa: I have swallowed a Kay. 
Doctor: When? 
Santa: 3 months back! 
Doctor: What were you doing till now? 
Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too. 
 
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Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I've seen ur password. It's ****. Santa: U r wrong. It's 1394. 
 
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Santa falls in love with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister ." 
 
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Santa asked Banta: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening? 
Banta: Very simple, because he is PM not AM. 
 
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A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell. 
Santa doesn't turns up for 4 days. 
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out. 
 
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Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatos 5 days ago, he hasn't came back yet! 
Santa: Why don't u cook something else? .
   
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Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why? 
Because he opened petrol pump on second floor.. 
 
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Ultimate answer while changing the job. 
Interviewer: Why did you changed your last job? 
Santa: Because the company shifted and didn't tell me where. 
 
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Santa and Banta went for a drive. 
Santa: Hey, look out from the window, are the indicators working or not? 
Banta puts his head out & says "Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No!!!" 
 
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Santa's wife dies. He is calm, but his wife's lover is crying furiously... 
Finally, Santa consoles him: Don't worry buddy, I will marry again. 
 
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Why did Santa keep the door open while bathing? 
Because he was afraid that someone might watch him from the key hole. 
 
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Santa phoned his wife: I am not coming home . The steering, dash board, gears of car have been stolen. 
After sometime he calls again: I am coming , earlier I sat on the back seat.